OK, so you may have already figured out where this is going!
Yesterday, I flew home from Mississippi to Portland. I arrived at the airport around 4:45 AM, got checked in and proceeded to go through security. However, when it came to be my turn to go through the metal detector, I noticed that there was no metal detector. Instead, they have these new full body scanners that require you to make an awkward pose for a few seconds, and then step forward to a security officer who gets clearance from the examiner to let you pass. So, I go through this machine, walk to the woman and she waits for clearance. Suddenly, her earphone radio starts going crazy, and the woman has this confused look on her face and is saying “what…? what..?” Then she quickly radios for another female officer to come immediately. So, some other woman runs out of nowhere with her earphone radio going crazy too… and I can hear it saying “That girl has something bulky in her crotch.” So all the sudden they start freaking out and take me to some remote security room and sit me down in the interrogation chair. So now I’m in this room with 2 black female security guards, and one then puts on this blue glove (and they are pissed off btw) and says ok miss is there anything you need to tell us? So I bust off laughing and I’m like yeah, I was born a boy and I still have my parts. So now they are even more confused, and say what??? So, I repeat myself and then say look, the scar from my adam’s apple is right here. Then the girl goes “Fo Real??” and I was like yeah for real! And they start hooting and hollaring and laughing, asking me all these questions about my personal life, and complimenting me, saying that they can’t believe it, and that I made their day… and I sat in there and chatted with them for like 10 minutes. By the time I left we were all best friends, but still it was so super embarrassing.
SO, point being… beware when you are flying because with these new scanners you are probably going to be flagged and searched.
To keep my posts consistent, I’ll attach this picture of me in a guitar shop in Mississippi, even though it’s completely irrelevant to the story =)